Friday, November 29, 2013

Postmortem (pun intended)

I do believe I have experienced my last ever family holiday get together.   The holidays are never easy for us, but yesterday went crashing into the flames of purgatory within about 30 minutes of arrival.  My mother was already stressed after being with my nephew (her grandson) for three days.  The fact that she adores this kid is part of the problem.  My sister, who has a grown and very willful child with Downs Syndrome, was also stressed.  Their worlds collided and I leaned towards my sister's side of that tear inducing mini event and joined her in the back room.  My sister said she probably wouldn't be there for Christmas.  My mother said that she doesn't feel like we enjoy being together, and that she probably wouldn't have Christmas.  It's likely the end of all of our holiday "celebrations," and I'm not sure how I feel about that. We are definitely different from one another and usually share our daily lives with other people, but is giving up on holiday gathering the answer?  Maybe the death of holiday gathering, as the always put together Martha Stewart is fond of saying, "is a good thing," a very good thing.   Maybe, just maybe, the death of holiday gathering is the one thing we can be thankful for.

I truly hope y'all had a happier holiday than we experienced.  I also hope you have a bucket of things to be thankful and happy about.


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5 comments:

  1. My thanksgiving was stress piled high (My father went to the ER Wednesday night and is still in the hospital this Sunday afternoon). I am baffled about why folks can't get along for an evening or a day... but its same with my family.

    I hope that you are "isolated" or feel alone.

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    1. I'm sorry to hear that your father isn't well. I will say a prayer for him. Hopefully he's already back home and feeling much better! I am mostly always alone, but rarely feel isolated. I'm on speaking terms with all of my family members :) A squabble here or there will never squash the love I have for them, even if we can't always get along.

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    2. Goodness. I typo'ed. I meant NOT isolated or lonely.

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  2. I would... try to keep it going. But if nobody wants to participate, there is nothing you can do about it. But losing touch with your family during the holidays is a sad and hard thing for most people. My cousin has DS, and I can understand the frustrations that come with it. Wait for things to simmer down and see how everyone else feels about the holidays... later on down the road. They may change their minds.

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    1. I had a talk with my mother, and we decided that we will likely keep it going, but that perhaps we should change it up by having an evening get together lasting only a couple of hours, instead of attempting the all day get together which can slip into chaos.

      I hope you had a lovely holiday.

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