"Move it, your box needs a good airing out." signed The Universe

If you invite me to go somewhere with you, I will want to know WAY more than where. I want a list of the full cast of characters. I want to know how far away it is. Will I need to bring money? How much? Will anyone be jumping out of a cake? I want the back story. So, don't try to polish the Buick and pass it off as a Maserati, I'm nearly as inquisitive as Holmes.

Soooooooo, my best friend called me the other day and the brevity ensued.

K said, "Hey, C and I are going to the local BBQ joint downtown tomorrow night. They are hosting the game "Battle Between the Sexes. Wanna join us?" For some reason, I detected a sparseness in the air. My instincts went up, and I pressed for more details. She insisted she didn't know much else.   I told her I would have to think about it.  That was last Monday.  I had two days to ponder whether or not I wanted to go.  Against my resisting instinct, I said what the hell, and agreed to go.

Two days passed, and although I pressed again for more information about the nature of the event, my friend offered no more data for analysis.  She picked me up, and we went together.  Her husband was to meet us there.

We arrived to find the establishment closed.  Apparently, they are only open in the evenings on the weekend.  Since it was only Wednesday, we were left standing in front of their entrance looking back and forth at each other, and then back at the closed sign.  Perplexed.  About that time, we noticed that there were more than a few people milling around on the sidewalk two doors down from the restaurant's main entrance.  So, we nonchalantly peered into the glass front and yes, there was a room full of people and what looked like a BBQ cafeteria line at the back of the building.  My friend fell back and let ME lead the way in.  Great!  Why me?  She invited me, shouldn't she have gone in first? 

In case you missed something, can I mention again that I don't like dealing with uncertainty.  I hate not knowing the deal.  Do you seat yourself, or do you wait for someone to seat you?  Do you pay up front or when you've finished?  If you don't venture into the unknown much, the positive IS that these negative experiences are few and far between.  However, if you don't venture into the unknown much, that IS exactly why the first four minutes in a new restaurant can feel like someone hoisted you onto a stage, and you don't know the name of the play, let alone your lines. 

As luck would have it, ONLY all eyes near the front of the room turned our way.  Although internally I balk at that sort of spotlight attention, I can fake it until I make it with the best of the best of them.  So, I boldly asked the guy near the door did he know what was going on.  He said no, but come on in, and we will figure it out together.  I thought that was a little odd, but he seemed friendly enough.

My friend and I took a seat at the front of the building which was really the back of all the goings on.  No sooner had we taken two seats at a table with six empty chairs, than a lady came and introduced herself ... and then pointed out her son, her husband and her daughter-in-law.  After she finished with her family, she proceeded to point out other people in the room ... "Over there is Pastor Tim ... blah blah blah."  She was friendly, we were friendly back, but there was no way on God's green planet that I was going to remember all their names.  I turned to my friend and said ... uh ... I think everyone here knows every one here EXCEPT YOU and ME. 

My friend's husband arrived and joined us about the same time that Pastor Tim came along and introduced himself.  After chatting with Pastor Tim for a while, we were finally enlightened as to what was going on.  Apparently, Pastor Tim leads a church that is building-less.  So, they meet in different places, and this event was one of their Wednesday night socials.  Ahhhh ... no wonder everyone knew everyone else.  We explained how it came to be that we were unknowingly CRASHING THEIR CHURCH social (my friend had received a vague forward of a forward e-mail from a friend).  Pastor Tim made us feel right at home, as did his church members.  We got in the chow line with everyone else, went back to our table in the back of the building to eat and was joined by Pastor Tim and his lovely wife Jaye.  As the dinner unfolded, we found ourselves rocking and rolling in laughter with Pastor Tim and Jaye.  Turns out, Pastor Tim and Jaye came a little late to the ministry scene, but they finally made it when Pastor Tim got his calling.  Jaye openly confessed that being a pastor's wife had never been on her TO DO list, and it took her a while to wrap her brain around that idea.  I have to say, that she is exactly the kind of pastor's wife I would want to hang out with.  She was totally cool, with edgy shoes and a funky dress.  She was smart, funny, warm and engaging in a most laid back way. 

After eating, the Battle of the Sexes began!  Pastor Tim said they let us win, but the fact is, we won based on our wealth of knowledge of manly stuff and with help from a girl child about soccer rules.  I have to say though, that I was totally impressed with one man who knew that "Blush" and "Bashful" are the names of Shelby's wedding colors in the movie Steel Magnolias.  Like, who the hell knows that?  Apparently a man whose wife owns the movie and confessed to watching it more than eight times does.  Who knew men hear such details?????  I would never have gotten that question right (but I now doubt I will ever forget it).

All in all, we had a fantastic time with a room full of complete strangers!  Pastor Tim added all of us to his 800+ friends on FB.  He's a trip. 

Friends, I am here to tell you that I thought I had hammered the nail in my "OUT OF THE BOX QUOTA" for the week!  Then, along came Saturday.  Oh well, apparently the Universe thought my comfort level needed an extended work out.   Maybe I will get a second wind tomorrow and tell you all about that.

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