Thursday, March 4, 2010

Day Two of the "Garden" makeover ... okay fine its a yard not a garden.

So, it's day two of the yard makeover. I was in shock yesterday when I got home and surveyed the mayhem, and I nearly had a panic attack this morning when I heard a chainsaw roaring to life at 8:00 a.m. I looked out the window this morning, and saw the top of my most favorite shrub, which is nearly as tall as the house, rocking back and forth. I hurried outside, to be greeted by a mountain of green which had already been felled by the chainsaw. I could still see the top of my shrub swaying but I couldn't see much else, so I shouted for "dude" to cut the chainsaw. I think he could see the panic on my face, because when I asked him to assure me that he wasn't cutting down my elderly sasanqua camellia, he said ... no, its next, and grinned. He was joking. I was relieved.

I did ask them to "tidy up" and remove a few scrub trees out of the mystery wall of vegetation which has so thoughtfully shielded me from my most redneck neighbors, but I got more tidying up than I bargained for. I guess there was no good stopping point in the tidy act, because the crew practically deforested my buffer of mystery vegetation. I discovered this yesterday when the "landscaper" called me and said, "We need to talk ... " After which, I hurried home, to a less than pleasing view into my redneck neighbors yard, and said, "You have a blank check to close that view. I do not care what it cost. I do not care if you have to build the Great Wall of Georgia. All I know, is that I need to NOT see them."

What people?? I'm not heartless, it's bad enough, that I have to hear them and smell them. I dang sure don't want to have to see them (that often). Don't get me wrong, my neighbors are nice enough, they just pollute my nose with smoke, make way too much noise and sometimes curse at the top of their voice spectrum. I could give them a run for their cursing money, but I choose not to in the middle of the yard and thereby the middle of the neighborhood.

So, cha ching ... that's another grand.

I just came across this Czech proverb "Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends." Hmmmmm ... I wonder if my friends would come stand side by side between my neighbor's yard and mine. Nah, I didn't think so, I am just going to have to make friends with the pricey sized Osmanthus fragrans which is usually less costly and more commonly known as Tea Olives.

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2 comments:

  1. I wisssssssssssh I could get a fence built around my backyard. I really do. On one side, the neighbor never mows her lawn, and there's metal gates everywhere. The other side of my yard is actually nice, but it's not me. There is a giant statue of Jesus's mother in the middle of their backyard. It's not tacky or anything... but well, its just not my style. Does that make me a horrible person because I want to fence Mary out of my yard?

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  2. No girl, it makes you a soul sister with me ;)

    I don't dislike my neighbors, we just have nothing in common ... style wise or 90% etiquette wise.

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