Showdown with a preschooler

Egads ... I have exhausted myself by attending our very first  neighborhood watch meeting.  No, I didn't have to do anything other than attend and interact with an intimate group of approximately 15 of my street neighbors.  However, that exact sort of gathering --- fairly intimate with short bursts of center stage expectations -- having to speak in front of a small group of people I do not know extraordinarly well, freaks me out.  I push myself to do it, because the Universe has gifted me with many characteristics and personality traits, which assure me that I am completely capable of doing so.  So, I go, and I do it, but afterwards, I always pay for it.  I feel wiped out and ready to crawl out of my skin at the same time.  I can easily identify the source of my stiffened spine as a product of my "flight or fight" response to pushing myself out of my comfort zone.  I had to go and fight through the flight or fight feeling, because our "section" of the neighborhood is treated like a  red-headed step-child by the two other neighborhood associations, one of which we should be part of, and the other which borders our neighborhood to the west.  We actually buffer both of those sections from the "real hood" and we get NO RESPECT from either of them for doing so.  I'm miffed with their snooty behavior, so I'm contemplating putting up two signs which point in their direction and which will read .... "THIS WAY TO steal, plunder and pillage from the very best these two neighborhoods have to offer."  That should serve them right for acting like they are better than us and ignoring us when it comes to community involvement.  We are likely more active on an individual basis than either of their two groups.  So, it is about time, we circle our own wagon!

I was already having an emotionally draining weekend before the neighborhood get together.  I was overstimulated the whole weekend.  Friday night by too much of a good time, and Saturday night by a perpetual source of ire inspired by my inconsiderate neighbors, who I think must be leading secret lives as vampires, because they mostly annoy the shit out of me somewhere along 12 midnight.  Those bastards forget my bedroom is 10 feet from their outside gathering spot and that I am usually trying to sleep at the midnite hour.  I'm calling their landlord tomorrow to see if she would be willing to sell that house to me, so that I can put their asses out.  They can go suck the blood out of someone else's sleep for a change. 

Did I mention, they got on my nerves so bad, that after an hour of lying there tossing and turning, I opened the back door and yelled at them ... "HEY PEOPLE!  I AM SERIOUSLY TRYING TO SLEEP OVER HERE!!!!!!  I then slammed BOTH my storm door, which was already hanging on by a prayer and a thread, and my steel solid core back door, as hard as I could. 

So today, I'm taking the trash out back, and their little guy who is maybe 4 going on 5 (and his playmate), met me in the alley near my trash can.  For God's sake, a showdown with a pre-schooler was all I needed.  He said ... "Hey, are you that lady that yelled at us last night?"  I said -- as gently as I could because he is after all a mere vampire child... although I admit I was slightly taken aback at his adult sense of brashness, "Yes, that was me.  I don't like having to yell at yall, but I was trying to sleep, but I couldn't, because yall were all yelling at each other, at the wrong time of the day.  You shouldn't yell outside at night.  I chose to yell to get yall to stop yelling, because I didn't want to call the police."  He hung his little head, but quickly rebounded and said, "Okay.  You know what?  We aren't allowed to go in that hole over there."  I looked over and realized he was referring to the sewer box in the alley that is big enough for a small child to crawl into.  I reiterated what his vampire parents had enough sense to tell him.  "That's right, don't ever go in there, it's dark and nasty down there, and you could get hurt."  He nodded, and then waved bye as I drove off.  Yes, I drive my trash around to the alley -- no, I'm not lazy.  I just don't like having to wrestle the privacy fence open over the pinestraw which just put out behind the fence.  That's just one more pain in my happy place. 

I didn't feel like spellchecking this, so don't expect perfection.

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