By special request ... without further ado ... is Annoyance 057 ...
Play solitaire all day while I stare a hole in the back of your head. This thing called work is called work for a reason.
(I guess it's not good to tell your boss, that you are going to clean up his files one last time, and when you are finished, that you are getting the hell out of dodge. Or to ponder out loud, about how long it will take to accomplish the clean up task. I guess IT IS good that he never takes you seriously. The element of surprise is still intact, even if you let the cat of the bag.)
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Showing posts with label Annoyances. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Annoyances. Show all posts
Friday, February 25, 2011
Monday, December 27, 2010
Everyday humanity without its sugar coat.
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uH oh. I think I may be nearing testy time. I'm having slightly evil thoughts. Not the evil kind of thoughts which say, "Go ahead, push him off the curb into oncoming traffic, you know you want to."
No NO, I NEVER have those evil kind of thoughts. I never think to myself, "I knew I should have blown that blasted cult from here to kingdom come. Smithereens would've been just about the right size!"
No, no that's not me. I would never think something like that.
Okay fine, I might have thought that last one, but who doesn't feel vengeful every other decade or so? The point to remember is that I have NEVER acted on any fleeting vengeful thought.
Besides, I'm only having slightly evil thoughts. The kind of thoughts which repeatedly say throughout the day, "I know he didn't just say that. Who says stuff like that?" "OMG, is he talking again? Seriously, just ignore him."
I have succeeded in remaining silent ... but my irritable thoughts have caused me to wonder what everyone else is thinking at any given time. You never know, when someone is thinking to themselves, "Hmmm, I wonder if she can swim."
Have you had one less than charitable thought today?
How about yesterday?
No? Can I touch the hem of your robe?
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting.
uH oh. I think I may be nearing testy time. I'm having slightly evil thoughts. Not the evil kind of thoughts which say, "Go ahead, push him off the curb into oncoming traffic, you know you want to."
No NO, I NEVER have those evil kind of thoughts. I never think to myself, "I knew I should have blown that blasted cult from here to kingdom come. Smithereens would've been just about the right size!"
No, no that's not me. I would never think something like that.
Okay fine, I might have thought that last one, but who doesn't feel vengeful every other decade or so? The point to remember is that I have NEVER acted on any fleeting vengeful thought.
Besides, I'm only having slightly evil thoughts. The kind of thoughts which repeatedly say throughout the day, "I know he didn't just say that. Who says stuff like that?" "OMG, is he talking again? Seriously, just ignore him."
I have succeeded in remaining silent ... but my irritable thoughts have caused me to wonder what everyone else is thinking at any given time. You never know, when someone is thinking to themselves, "Hmmm, I wonder if she can swim."
Have you had one less than charitable thought today?
How about yesterday?
No? Can I touch the hem of your robe?
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Annoyance 056
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I hate packing.
I hate packing with a passion.
I hate packing almost as much as I detest my blog stalker.
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting. xxx pookie
I hate packing.
I hate packing with a passion.
I hate packing almost as much as I detest my blog stalker.
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting. xxx pookie
Friday, October 8, 2010
Annoyance 055
Lickety Splitter is weary in her bones. Her brave skeleton continues to fight against the crush of gravity which is constantly pressing against her average frame. Confined to the life of an ill devised office space, instead of the Life of Riley, she is tempted to pitch a fork in her spirit and bone crushing career, and call it done.
Since that idea isn't currently feasible, she is considering hanging upside down like a bat in the hopes that any compacting can eventually be reversed.
Since that idea isn't currently feasible, she is considering hanging upside down like a bat in the hopes that any compacting can eventually be reversed.
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting. xxx pookie.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Annoyance 054
Grrrrrrr ... my fangs are bared and I'm looking for blood ...
What part of, "I don't have a way to haul a 7 foot tall mirror home" is hard to comprehend? Seriously?
The 10% discount on the mirror I was negotiating the purchase of, wasn't the bait which hooked me. The enticing and deal sealing bait was delivery of the 7 foot mirror to me on any day in the relatively near future when said dealer happened to be passing through my town. At least, that was the words exchanged and my understanding. During the negotiation of this purchase, I explained to the dealer that I have no way to transport a 7 foot mirror in my car which is toy sized by American standards and asked if I bought the mirror, could she deliver it whenever she was next in town. She said she would be through my town in 2 days time. I called her the very next day (the day before the scheduled delivery) and told her to call me when she neared my city, because I only live one mile from my place of employment, and I would go home so as to be there to meet her when she arrived.
She said, "I can't deliver that mirror to your house. I don't know anything about how to get around your town, so I planned to meet you on "so and so" road which is on my way."
WHAT THE HELL? That "so and so" road is less than 10 miles from my house, but too long for me to walk and pull along my little red wagon.
A rather pointed silence ensued, before I told her if that was the case, then I would have to forego the purchase. I AGAIN politely explained that I have no way to transport a 7 foot mirror whether that distance be 60 miles or 10 miles.
What I was non politely thinking and wanted to say was, "Mmmmmmm, HELLO -- my car didn't grow like a chia pet overnight!!!!
What I didn't tell you is that I mentally tacked on an UGLY name right after the word "overnight" and before the four exclamation marks!
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting. xxx pookie
What part of, "I don't have a way to haul a 7 foot tall mirror home" is hard to comprehend? Seriously?
The 10% discount on the mirror I was negotiating the purchase of, wasn't the bait which hooked me. The enticing and deal sealing bait was delivery of the 7 foot mirror to me on any day in the relatively near future when said dealer happened to be passing through my town. At least, that was the words exchanged and my understanding. During the negotiation of this purchase, I explained to the dealer that I have no way to transport a 7 foot mirror in my car which is toy sized by American standards and asked if I bought the mirror, could she deliver it whenever she was next in town. She said she would be through my town in 2 days time. I called her the very next day (the day before the scheduled delivery) and told her to call me when she neared my city, because I only live one mile from my place of employment, and I would go home so as to be there to meet her when she arrived.
She said, "I can't deliver that mirror to your house. I don't know anything about how to get around your town, so I planned to meet you on "so and so" road which is on my way."
WHAT THE HELL? That "so and so" road is less than 10 miles from my house, but too long for me to walk and pull along my little red wagon.
A rather pointed silence ensued, before I told her if that was the case, then I would have to forego the purchase. I AGAIN politely explained that I have no way to transport a 7 foot mirror whether that distance be 60 miles or 10 miles.
What I was non politely thinking and wanted to say was, "Mmmmmmm, HELLO -- my car didn't grow like a chia pet overnight!!!!
What I didn't tell you is that I mentally tacked on an UGLY name right after the word "overnight" and before the four exclamation marks!
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting. xxx pookie
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
A rhetorical question
Do you enjoy ever present me? I know you do!
Well, I don't appreciate sketchy attendance, and I am all about letting an offender feel the consequential sting of his or her lack of action.
If that doesn't sting enough. I can always put you in deep freeze.
Well, I don't appreciate sketchy attendance, and I am all about letting an offender feel the consequential sting of his or her lack of action.
If that doesn't sting enough. I can always put you in deep freeze.
(note: If this poke is meant for you, you will know it.)
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Thursday, September 16, 2010
Am I in hormone hell or are some people really that annoying?
I wish I knew some curse words that weren't curse words but sound like curse words, and I wish I could use them on anybody I want to use them on. Who took a giant bite out of my brownie? Why, that lady at the XXX's office whom I just spoke with. Mind you, I use the word "spoke" as loosely as possible. That heifer barely let me get a word in edgewise. And hello! I called her. How the hell does she know what I want to ask or talk about, if she just keeps talking over me?
In my next life, I am coming back as a federal or state employee. Apparently, they don't have to worry about any of their clients getting mad and never coming back for a return visit. Not all, I'm sure, but many whom I speak with, have lost touch with what I think is corporate reality. They don't care what you want, what you need or what you wish to tell them. They have their own set of rules, and they will change them and expect you to know it without them ever informing you. And to add insult to injury, they now seem to have lost their ability to LISTEN.
By the time I extricated myself from that "conversation," I felt as if I had been several rounds in the ring with a prize fighter.
How does one politely tell another ... to shut the hell up and listen?
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting. xxx Pookie
In my next life, I am coming back as a federal or state employee. Apparently, they don't have to worry about any of their clients getting mad and never coming back for a return visit. Not all, I'm sure, but many whom I speak with, have lost touch with what I think is corporate reality. They don't care what you want, what you need or what you wish to tell them. They have their own set of rules, and they will change them and expect you to know it without them ever informing you. And to add insult to injury, they now seem to have lost their ability to LISTEN.
By the time I extricated myself from that "conversation," I felt as if I had been several rounds in the ring with a prize fighter.
How does one politely tell another ... to shut the hell up and listen?
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting. xxx Pookie
Friday, September 10, 2010
Annoyance 053
Let's talk about smacking. The kind of smacking that makes me want to smack another. How does anyone grow up and not realize that smacking while eating is disturbing and possibly offensive (at least in America) to others? Is it just me who is totally grossed out by a noisy eater? My feelings don't stop at gross, they move straight on to disbelief, annoyance and then offense. I'm not saying I won't like a smacking eater as a person, but I will go on the offense or retreat if I am subjected to a smacker. I have encountered three smackers in the last week, one a toddler whose parents are responsible, and who is close enough for me to correct. The other two smackers were adults, neither of whom I corrected, but I did take my leave from their company.
I'm not easily grossed out, but for some reason, smacking pushes me over the edge. Maybe it's the noise that annoys me. Smacking is akin to nails on a chalkboard for me. You could probably pick your nose in front of me, and I would probably handle it better than I do smacking. Unless of course, you wipe your nose findings on me. If you do that, you better hope I already love you and already swap spit or other bodily fluids with you. Else, that act will be your undoing.
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting. XXX Pookie!
I'm not easily grossed out, but for some reason, smacking pushes me over the edge. Maybe it's the noise that annoys me. Smacking is akin to nails on a chalkboard for me. You could probably pick your nose in front of me, and I would probably handle it better than I do smacking. Unless of course, you wipe your nose findings on me. If you do that, you better hope I already love you and already swap spit or other bodily fluids with you. Else, that act will be your undoing.
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting. XXX Pookie!
Friday, September 3, 2010
When Push Comes to Shove
Mechanically minded, I clearly am not. WHY, GOD WHY? Why can't I be clever enough to think in the opposite direction?
You see this thumb drive?
It almost got the best of me! It's curvy design was new to me. I pulled. I tugged. I was on the verge of cracking the damn thing open with a hammer. It didn't immediately (or shortly thereafter) occur to me to push one of those red ends instead of pulling, tugging and beating first one end, then the other, on the edge of my desk. By the time it occurred to me that one of those ends may go in the opposite direction, I was talking to that little red trouble maker like it was a sassy four year old, instead of recognizing that I was thinking like a two year old. Think girl, think, don't just assume the curvy rascal should behave like all other thumb drives you have used (all three of them). So, I did. I collected my one directional thoughts and turned them around. When push comes to shove ... EUREKA ... don't shove, just push!
I am still MAD WITH MYSELF that it took me longer to go the other way than it likely would have for any of you! I may be doomed to existing in VEX mode unless y'all tell me the secret to quickly thinking in the other direction!
I'm not easily enticed, but Rob Thomas makes me lust.
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting. xox Pookie!
You see this thumb drive?
It almost got the best of me! It's curvy design was new to me. I pulled. I tugged. I was on the verge of cracking the damn thing open with a hammer. It didn't immediately (or shortly thereafter) occur to me to push one of those red ends instead of pulling, tugging and beating first one end, then the other, on the edge of my desk. By the time it occurred to me that one of those ends may go in the opposite direction, I was talking to that little red trouble maker like it was a sassy four year old, instead of recognizing that I was thinking like a two year old. Think girl, think, don't just assume the curvy rascal should behave like all other thumb drives you have used (all three of them). So, I did. I collected my one directional thoughts and turned them around. When push comes to shove ... EUREKA ... don't shove, just push!
I am still MAD WITH MYSELF that it took me longer to go the other way than it likely would have for any of you! I may be doomed to existing in VEX mode unless y'all tell me the secret to quickly thinking in the other direction!
I'm not easily enticed, but Rob Thomas makes me lust.
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting. xox Pookie!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Annoyance 052
Cough cough cough ... hack hack hack ...
That's me after spending 5 minutes in a client's home. After I got out of there and back on the road, I wanted to rip my clothes and my hair off and throw them all out the car window.
Peweee! I stink! I rushed home to take a Claritin because my sinuses were leaking down my throat trying to choke me to death. I next got out the Febreze and sprayed myself down to cut some of the smell. Yes, I know Febreze is for fabric, not humans, but I'm dying here and I don't have time to take a shower. I have plans to go to the early showing of Eat Pray Love.
I am totally allergic to cigarette smoke. I should have caught the clue when I was hospitalized in the first grade with asthma and pneumonia, encountering nothing less than a near death experience, but I was too young to realize my parents' second hand smoke was an accessory to the grim reaper. After leaving my parents home, and setting up house on my own, I refused to go back into their home unless they stopped smoking indoors. Thank God they loved me enough to make the change. Dear ole Dad completely gave up smoking at some point, and mother is still struggling to follow suit.
If second hand smoke didn't exist, I would be a better smelling movie partner right about now!
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting. xox Pookie!
That's me after spending 5 minutes in a client's home. After I got out of there and back on the road, I wanted to rip my clothes and my hair off and throw them all out the car window.
Peweee! I stink! I rushed home to take a Claritin because my sinuses were leaking down my throat trying to choke me to death. I next got out the Febreze and sprayed myself down to cut some of the smell. Yes, I know Febreze is for fabric, not humans, but I'm dying here and I don't have time to take a shower. I have plans to go to the early showing of Eat Pray Love.
I am totally allergic to cigarette smoke. I should have caught the clue when I was hospitalized in the first grade with asthma and pneumonia, encountering nothing less than a near death experience, but I was too young to realize my parents' second hand smoke was an accessory to the grim reaper. After leaving my parents home, and setting up house on my own, I refused to go back into their home unless they stopped smoking indoors. Thank God they loved me enough to make the change. Dear ole Dad completely gave up smoking at some point, and mother is still struggling to follow suit.
If second hand smoke didn't exist, I would be a better smelling movie partner right about now!
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting. xox Pookie!
Monday, August 30, 2010
The dream keeper unleashed an intruder ...
Good grief ... I woke up before 6:00 a.m. from a scary dream (intruder in the house), and now I'm SLEEPY. I'm not going to describe that dream to you, because all of you have had one of those intruder dreams, and you know how those usually go. You either overpower the intruder, or in my case you wake up before the intruder catches you and unleashes his or her evil on you. I miss my snuggle buddy and protector.
I'm now feeling out of sorts and I'm cold, but I am trying very hard not to turn on my space heater, because although my body likes to be warm, my face is allergic to heat and the heat always rises from the space heater to my face. My skirt is wrinkled beyond my liking, so there will be no rest for the weary at the lunch hour.
On the positive side of being up so early this morning, I had time to cook grits, and enough time to leisurely enjoy their warm and creamy texture for breakfast. Now, I'm snacking on boiled peanuts that one of the co-workers cooked to salty perfection. If those two treats don't scream SHE REALLY IS FROM THE DEEP SOUTH, then I don't know what would.
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting. xox Pookie!
I'm now feeling out of sorts and I'm cold, but I am trying very hard not to turn on my space heater, because although my body likes to be warm, my face is allergic to heat and the heat always rises from the space heater to my face. My skirt is wrinkled beyond my liking, so there will be no rest for the weary at the lunch hour.
On the positive side of being up so early this morning, I had time to cook grits, and enough time to leisurely enjoy their warm and creamy texture for breakfast. Now, I'm snacking on boiled peanuts that one of the co-workers cooked to salty perfection. If those two treats don't scream SHE REALLY IS FROM THE DEEP SOUTH, then I don't know what would.
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting. xox Pookie!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Annoyance 051
My blood pressure is raised, steam is emitting from my ears, fire is rolling off my tongue ... and there is no obvious antidote. I have counted to 20, double checked my math, and still feel the FIRE!!!! If I were a drug taking, alcohol drinking sort of woman, I would take a Prozac, wash it down with a Xanax and then drink a bottle of Jack Daniels for dessert. Since, I am not a drug taking, alcohol drinking sort of woman, I guess I will dig deep and go zen at some point! Hopefully, before I say something to the wrong person. I'm not really known for biting my own tongue.
This place is feeling a lot like an east coast Alcatraz wanna be. I may have to plan my escape. Anyone have a spare movie poster I can use for a while?
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting.
This place is feeling a lot like an east coast Alcatraz wanna be. I may have to plan my escape. Anyone have a spare movie poster I can use for a while?
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Hey ... where's my bazooka?
Some days you should just kill the alarm clock and put yourself out of the misery waiting for you. Take heart my sweet readers, life's not that bad for me. I'm just fussing and plowing through the day's minor annoyances. I'm trying to fly under the radar screen of the bad ass problems that I know are out there chomping at the bit. Oh, don't be all Susie or Sammy Sunshine on me. You should know by now that I am Susie Sardonic, and that I'm not being negative, I'm just telling it, like you and I know it really is.
What today?
Oh let's see, I go home for lunch ... sort through the freshly delivered mail only to realize I am now the disgraced non prompt payer on one of my credit cards. This news breaks me out in hives, because I am a pay as you go sort of girl. I tend my business like no other business I have to tend. So, after frantically trying to find last month's bill to no avail, I called the credit card company and turned on all my southern charms. Yes, I possess a few. Enough for Mister Credit Card Service Man to agree that I am ONE of their most fabulous paying users of all time and that I deserve a waiver of penalty. Mister Credit Card Service Man goes on to say, "I hear it's hot down there (in the deep south)." I was thinking to myself ... OMG, he speaks southern with an indistinguishable accent. Happy that the smooth talker speaks my language, I sweetly say, "Oh yeah, its hot." He asked. "How hot is it?" I said, "I hear the heat index is around 110." He asked, "Dry heat or humid?" I said, "All we know is humidity. But this year, humidity is sharing drenching sweat, not drenching rains, and our lush landscape is under siege." He commiserated further and we finished business to my complete satisfaction.
Later, I wanted to tape an article I had cut from the newspaper to another piece of paper, so I laid the article and paper on my desk and looked around for my tape dispenser. Hmmm ... where is that tape dispenser? Did someone borrow it? Did I stick it in the drawer? Did I carry it to another room? Is it under something? I searched high and low, walked to and fro, fretted, blamed its disappearance on another. And then, lo and behold, I spotted it quietly resting beside the article which was waiting to be taped down on the paper. What the hell? Now, I know I will never make a very discerning witness during a robbery, nor will I ever win a prize based on knowing what anyone around me is wearing at the beginning, middle or end of the day, and I know beyond doubt that I will never spot a new planet in our solar system, but I'm NOT LEGALLY BLIND.
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting.
What today?
Oh let's see, I go home for lunch ... sort through the freshly delivered mail only to realize I am now the disgraced non prompt payer on one of my credit cards. This news breaks me out in hives, because I am a pay as you go sort of girl. I tend my business like no other business I have to tend. So, after frantically trying to find last month's bill to no avail, I called the credit card company and turned on all my southern charms. Yes, I possess a few. Enough for Mister Credit Card Service Man to agree that I am ONE of their most fabulous paying users of all time and that I deserve a waiver of penalty. Mister Credit Card Service Man goes on to say, "I hear it's hot down there (in the deep south)." I was thinking to myself ... OMG, he speaks southern with an indistinguishable accent. Happy that the smooth talker speaks my language, I sweetly say, "Oh yeah, its hot." He asked. "How hot is it?" I said, "I hear the heat index is around 110." He asked, "Dry heat or humid?" I said, "All we know is humidity. But this year, humidity is sharing drenching sweat, not drenching rains, and our lush landscape is under siege." He commiserated further and we finished business to my complete satisfaction.
Later, I wanted to tape an article I had cut from the newspaper to another piece of paper, so I laid the article and paper on my desk and looked around for my tape dispenser. Hmmm ... where is that tape dispenser? Did someone borrow it? Did I stick it in the drawer? Did I carry it to another room? Is it under something? I searched high and low, walked to and fro, fretted, blamed its disappearance on another. And then, lo and behold, I spotted it quietly resting beside the article which was waiting to be taped down on the paper. What the hell? Now, I know I will never make a very discerning witness during a robbery, nor will I ever win a prize based on knowing what anyone around me is wearing at the beginning, middle or end of the day, and I know beyond doubt that I will never spot a new planet in our solar system, but I'm NOT LEGALLY BLIND.
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting.
Friday, July 23, 2010
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell.
Sorry, Pukka Purl has deleted the ooooie gooie goodie out of this post.
If you are a fellow MB 20 fan, may the force be with you.
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting.
If you are a fellow MB 20 fan, may the force be with you.
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Unmanageable EYE ROLL ... aka ANNOYANCE 050
You know what else I really like about you Pookie? You are fairly easy to please when it comes to picking out "every day" stuff and you are easily pleased by the simple things in life. It only took you about five or ten minutes to select your GPS unit. Sheets and new comforter --maybe a total of three minutes. So decisive. How sexy!
Wanna know what's NON SEXY and EYE ROLL PROVOKING? A committee of three trying to decide on a tray to sit under four acrylic glasses and a matching acrylic ice bucket. Ummmmmm .... hello, how about an acrylic tray? I think this place missed out on those KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) seminars.
Please, somebody shoot me and put me out of my misery.
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting.
Wanna know what's NON SEXY and EYE ROLL PROVOKING? A committee of three trying to decide on a tray to sit under four acrylic glasses and a matching acrylic ice bucket. Ummmmmm .... hello, how about an acrylic tray? I think this place missed out on those KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) seminars.
Please, somebody shoot me and put me out of my misery.
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Annoyance 049
Note:
To anyone who is in close proximity to my ear prior to 9:30 in the morning.
Come closer, this is important for you to hear.
DON'T CRUNCH CHEESE NIPS in my ear!
Addendum:
Crunch A Munch, Cheese Nips, Chicken Bones, Pickles, Fritos, Cheetos, Pretzels, Potato Chips, Nachos, Biscotti, Dried Cereal -- including my fav Froot Loops -- and any other crunchy or continuously chewy food -- are ALL OFF LIMITS OF MY EAR /// AT ALL TIMES OF THE DAY ////
And, don't even think I enjoy hearing you smack and greedily gnosh down on a piece of greasy fried chicken, because I DON'T.
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting.
To anyone who is in close proximity to my ear prior to 9:30 in the morning.
Come closer, this is important for you to hear.
DON'T CRUNCH CHEESE NIPS in my ear!
Addendum:
Crunch A Munch, Cheese Nips, Chicken Bones, Pickles, Fritos, Cheetos, Pretzels, Potato Chips, Nachos, Biscotti, Dried Cereal -- including my fav Froot Loops -- and any other crunchy or continuously chewy food -- are ALL OFF LIMITS OF MY EAR /// AT ALL TIMES OF THE DAY ////
And, don't even think I enjoy hearing you smack and greedily gnosh down on a piece of greasy fried chicken, because I DON'T.
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Blog Thieves ....
Oh my word, who would ever think to steal someone else's blog posts? I follow Johnny Virgil's blog 15minute lunch and you should too http://15minutelunch.blogspot.com/. He has lots of fans, some of whom apparently think his blog posts are theirs for the taking. Did these blog thieves skip the most important lesson which should be learned in English, Literature and any other class they may have had to write a paper for?
Did they learn nothing about creative theft? Plagiarism? Have they not heard of Napster? Same thieving deal!
I am no stellar blogger, so I'm not overly worried about anyone stealing my posts, but some of your posts are as good as money in the bank and should be treated as such. I am somewhat of a poet though, and have written many poems which I think are noteworthy. I never post them here or anywhere else on the web, because I have always been wary of someone snagging them and claiming them for their own. The poems I have written came from the deepest and lightest of my emotions, and I love them as if they were children. They embody the people that I wrote them about or wrote them for and when I take them out of their little box, they bring back all the emotions I feel for those people. My greatest inspiration of all time was PJM ... who incensed my ire, fanned flames of passion and somehow managed to remain in my good graces in spite of all of his offenses. Only by the grace of our mutual love did that happen and only by the grace of inspiration did a good many poems (more than he has ever been privy to) practically write themselves. They are no longer mere words, they are snapshots of love for me to hold onto, and I reserve the right to keep them safe from thieves, the only way I know how.
There must be a way to protect creativity in blog world ... but I am not savvy enough to know if there is. How can Johnny Virgil protect his writing? An inquiring mind wants to know!
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting.
Did they learn nothing about creative theft? Plagiarism? Have they not heard of Napster? Same thieving deal!
I am no stellar blogger, so I'm not overly worried about anyone stealing my posts, but some of your posts are as good as money in the bank and should be treated as such. I am somewhat of a poet though, and have written many poems which I think are noteworthy. I never post them here or anywhere else on the web, because I have always been wary of someone snagging them and claiming them for their own. The poems I have written came from the deepest and lightest of my emotions, and I love them as if they were children. They embody the people that I wrote them about or wrote them for and when I take them out of their little box, they bring back all the emotions I feel for those people. My greatest inspiration of all time was PJM ... who incensed my ire, fanned flames of passion and somehow managed to remain in my good graces in spite of all of his offenses. Only by the grace of our mutual love did that happen and only by the grace of inspiration did a good many poems (more than he has ever been privy to) practically write themselves. They are no longer mere words, they are snapshots of love for me to hold onto, and I reserve the right to keep them safe from thieves, the only way I know how.
There must be a way to protect creativity in blog world ... but I am not savvy enough to know if there is. How can Johnny Virgil protect his writing? An inquiring mind wants to know!
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting.
Friday, July 9, 2010
I am enough, but I am no more.
Blame
I wrote such a beautiful book for you
'Bout rainbows and sunshine
And dreams that come true.
But the goat went and ate it
(You knew that he would),
So I wrote you another one
Fast as I could.
Of course it could never be
Nearly as great
As that beautiful book
That the silly goat ate.
So if you don't like
This new book I just wrote --
Blame the goat.
-- Shel Silverstein
Would you miss Lickety Splitter if she felt forced to leave? It's not that I reveal anything more than who I am here, but to have yourself revealed by someone you knew you should never trust, is no less hurtful.
I only wanted a place to write where I would always feel uninhibited. What are my choices now? Stay and hope I'm not boring to all of you but one to whom I wish to be meaningless to? Mundane enough to lose the interest of that one who should know that -- by my giving up the one I loved and continue to love and currently intend to love for eternity (regardless of all that has passed and all that is) -- I gave a gift and that gift should be enough. It should be all that I have to give. I should not have to give the deepest feelings of my soul or the shallow pools of my everyday. My decision to let go of the relationship (but not the love) was a calculated decision of my own volition, my own choice, my own knowing that I wanted more for myself than a lifetime of having to fight for the right to be me and to hold out the hope of finding someone who would sometimes, not always, but sometimes in those rare moments when love of another overrides our own feeling for self, would bestow upon me the greatest gift we can ever give another, an integrity which surpasses our own selfishness.
If you are arriving late to this post and are slightly confused by the nature of the comments below, I'm sorry to say you missed the rest of this blog, which I deleted because I realized it would be slightly mysterious to those of you I welcome readily here. I had lots to say on this subject, which if circumstances were as I suspected, would have been easily understood by its subject. However, I have given my choice and decision lots of thought today, and I say to the former silent reader, READ on if you think you have reason. I envy you not.
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting.
Annoyance 048
Hey, you there in the dress making industry, I don't know which one of you numbskulls was the first to decide women no longer need or want sleeves in their dresses, all I know is that those masses of makers who followed your lead to the extreme, deserve to jump off the same bridge that I am going to push you off, if I ever find you. (How was that for a nasty little run-on sentence?)
What? You numbskulls don't have 24/7 deep freeze offices where you live, or WINTER? Remember that season called winter?
I know you do, and I know what the real deal is with the bajillion sleeves missing from all those new dresses. I'm just not sure how much the sweater industry has paid you in bribes. Does the word cahoots ring any bells in you sleeve thieves? By bells, I mean alarms, because I'm sounding them!
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting.
What? You numbskulls don't have 24/7 deep freeze offices where you live, or WINTER? Remember that season called winter?
I know you do, and I know what the real deal is with the bajillion sleeves missing from all those new dresses. I'm just not sure how much the sweater industry has paid you in bribes. Does the word cahoots ring any bells in you sleeve thieves? By bells, I mean alarms, because I'm sounding them!
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Annoyance 047
I seriously had to figuritively bite my tongue twice yesterday .... both times on facebook. My facebook contacts are limited for a reason, but I would be fooling myself, if I thought I would not run into comments that I would like to slice and dice just because I choose my contacts carefully. All those well chosen contacts come with their own contacts, and there will inevitably be someone on a friend's site, or the site I thought would attract somewhat intelligent people, who will make me want to reach through my computer screen and cut them off at the knees.
Such was the case yesterday when some woman from MN made this comment.
IN MN we have had a bad weather or disasters , floods hit ,many times in my life and we roll up are sleeves and start cleaning (including last week when tornadoes hit again). We sandbag to stop floods and chainsaw to clean up tornado damage and then we rebuild. I did not say talk about it---I dont see thousands pon the shorelines down there, just ... See Morephot ops. People would be less depresed if they rolled up their sleeves and tried to do something. I am not just talkiing. My hometwon was leveled by tornades in 1965--You would never even know the area was hit now-- So if you wanted Drill Baby dril, I suggest you new cry should be Clean baby clean!
I colored it green because it made me want to puke. Apparently she has never heard of hurricane season down here, and she must think we are immune to tornadoes, floods, etc. We get those too moron. ALL THE TIME. She later mentioned their harsh winters in MN. I wish she would bring her ass down here in the middle of a hurricane after the power is out for a month straight or any other normal summer, and experience our extreme HEAT AND HUMITY, which would likely bake her ass alive until she bucked up. It's like comparing apples to oranges, and we would do something about this oil spill, stop the bitching and get on with our lives if someone had a way to plug the damn hole.
For heaven's sake, how would she feel if we said ... hey that's just a tornado your town just suffered .... suck it up ... all you are doing is whining, get on with it, because I have no sympathy, empathy, prayer, or understanding for you, even though you are a fellow American not to mention a fellow human being.
I resisted the urge to track her down and bazooka her place of life -- work, play and the place she rests her empty heart and head.
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting.
Such was the case yesterday when some woman from MN made this comment.
IN MN we have had a bad weather or disasters , floods hit ,many times in my life and we roll up are sleeves and start cleaning (including last week when tornadoes hit again). We sandbag to stop floods and chainsaw to clean up tornado damage and then we rebuild. I did not say talk about it---I dont see thousands pon the shorelines down there, just ... See Morephot ops. People would be less depresed if they rolled up their sleeves and tried to do something. I am not just talkiing. My hometwon was leveled by tornades in 1965--You would never even know the area was hit now-- So if you wanted Drill Baby dril, I suggest you new cry should be Clean baby clean!
I colored it green because it made me want to puke. Apparently she has never heard of hurricane season down here, and she must think we are immune to tornadoes, floods, etc. We get those too moron. ALL THE TIME. She later mentioned their harsh winters in MN. I wish she would bring her ass down here in the middle of a hurricane after the power is out for a month straight or any other normal summer, and experience our extreme HEAT AND HUMITY, which would likely bake her ass alive until she bucked up. It's like comparing apples to oranges, and we would do something about this oil spill, stop the bitching and get on with our lives if someone had a way to plug the damn hole.
For heaven's sake, how would she feel if we said ... hey that's just a tornado your town just suffered .... suck it up ... all you are doing is whining, get on with it, because I have no sympathy, empathy, prayer, or understanding for you, even though you are a fellow American not to mention a fellow human being.
I resisted the urge to track her down and bazooka her place of life -- work, play and the place she rests her empty heart and head.
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting.
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