I'm emotionally weary this week and in withdrawal mode. I'm so sick of all the things I have to do, and feel totally unmotivated to do them. I feel as if I have traversed the full distance of the rainbow only to discover that someone made off with the pot of gold.
Don't mind me, I will eventually snap out of this funk and return to my lighthearted self. And, don't think for one minute that I am doing absolutely nothing other than feeling crappy. I am de-cluttering, tending to a few chores which I have been meaning to do, connecting with my family, reading and putting misery to bits of paper. This is one of those bits. I am trying to get it out without burdening my friends and family with my sporadic forays into melancholy. They don't know how to help me and no one truly wants to be around someone who casts a cloud of gloom. I love happy people, and know that I have to be one of those happy people for people to be happy about being with me. But, there are times when I can't help myself. Instead, I keep going through the motions hoping for the mood to pass without subjecting anyone else to the misery. So, I am putting on my happy face while my spirit looks on with a frown.
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Me too. I posted a note on my blog saying that I would need to take a bit of a break. Recharge the spirit, rest and allow myself time to do what i need without my selfmade pressures for posting deadlines and sharing creativity.
ReplyDeleteI've had some wonderful responses. Many people that visit me have become friends and I'm getting to know them and value who they are.
One friend told me that this is the Jewish time of endings, withdrawal, and contemplation. A natural time to observe and retreat. Many other artists seem to be feling the same right now. Maybe it is the waning daylight hours that affects us so.
You take your time and try not to worry so much about how others perceive your melancholy. We'd have to be super human not to go through these feelings every now and again, right?
I'll see you when I get back. Rest up and pamper yourself x
Jasmine, many thanks for the encouragement. I love the thought that there is a time for retreat and observation. Part of my problem really is the waning light. When the sun retreats, my mood usually follows. The other part is certain changes in my life that have left me feeling a bit isolated. I know I am responsible for adapting to these changes and getting myself back on course and I know I will given a little time. My soul thrives on achieving goals and I won't let it linger in the doldrums forever.
ReplyDeleteI hope your leave will give you time to breathe and refresh your spirit. I will be thinking of you and awaiting your return.