Either people don't get me or they simply cannot relate, which I do believe is two different ways of not connecting with me. We are truly like those ships that pass in the night. I've sent out a distress signal and they think I am merely shooting off flares to entertain myself. I know none of them can help me find the shelter which I am so desperately seeking and it only frustrates me further to discuss something with a certain someone and for that person to give me a zen answer while all the while rolling "their" eyes at any mention of Buddhism as a life philosophy and not the practice of worship which "they" mistakenly believe it is. If that person would in fact recognize that "their" answer is the same as that taught in the vein of zen, then I would likely be more inclined not to roll my eyes at "them."
I'm actually a very happy unhappy person. I'm not really unhappy, I'm simply a bit stymied in future direction, which in turn leads to a continual dissatisfaction with my day to day. I'm looking for something, but I don't know what it is. I want someone to help me find it, but when they try, I know their answer is the answer that is right for them. Their answers are not right for me ... and although I may not know what mine is, I know what it is NOT.
So, I remain frustrated, but mindful that I should no longer voice my frustrations to those closest to me as it is not their burden to bear.
NOTE: The use of them, they and their, while not appropriate serves my purpose of masking gender.
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Well, if they are closest to you, they would not be so close if you withheld your thoughts and feelings. Maybe it is more about the tie and place?
ReplyDeleteYou make a very good point Jasmine, which I lose sight of from time to time. I think my people (as I refer to my family and friends) are simply weary of my non ending crisis. I certainly cannot fault them for that.
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