Audio books ...

Before this week, I had never listened to audio books.  I have never before had the desire or need to listen to audio books, because my work commute is roughly 2.5 minutes from my front door to my employer's time clock.  And, I rarely road trip alone, but if I ever do, I find an NPR station for talk radio.  Yeah yeah, I know I could find talk radio anywhere if I had satellite radio, but I don't have satellite radio, again, because my total work commute is 2.5 minutes, so the need isn't there.  Read that fact twice and be sure to grow green with some sort of envy.  

What prompted my debut into the books on CD land?  Well, I have been organizing a huge work project, which has proved less than mentally stimulating, and I could only last so long in that state of unchallenged being, before seeking an alternative mental stimulant.  I was just short of running people over on my way to the public library during my lunch hour to get an audio book. 

The first day, I checked out an audio book entitled "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" by Dave Eggers.  Let's just say that if I wanted to read, or in this case, listen to a stream of consciousness, I would choose Faulkner over Eggers or simply listen to my own stream of consciousness.  The next day, I returned Mr. Eggers mostly unlistened to book to the library and checked out two more audio books -- two, in the event I didn't like one of them (as I had not liked Eggers, but had no alternative).  I checked out "The Snows of Kilimanjaro" by Ernest Hemingway (cuz I like ole Ernest's succinct writing style), and a Jack Reacher novel by Lee Child (pen name adopted by British writer, Jim Grant ), whose work I had never read, but whose work drew my attention while I was watching The Sunday Morning show the other Sunday morning.  I started with the Lee Child novel, because his Jack Reacher character, serves as a nod to 2nd Lt. Mulgrew who is currently serving in the army in Iraq, while simultaneously serving as my very own hero. 

So far, the Jack Reacher character is no disappointment.  I was totally hooked by the first chapter.  However, I am NO FAN OF THE AUDIO BOOK FORMAT.  I cannot seem to adjust to the man who is reading the novel changing his voice when reading the part of the female characters.  It sounds stupid to me.  Every time he does it, I just want him to read the female character in his own voice, not a higher pitch.  I noticed the Eggers reader did the same thing, and I wanted to yell at him ... STOP, stop reading that woman's part like you think a woman sounds, because women sound NOTHING like that!  My dissatisfaction is doing nothing for the pace of the story.  I continually interrupt the reader with my own thoughts ... like "would it break the budget, if they hired a man reader and a woman reader?"  Seriously, couldn't they employ both a man and a woman to read?  I keep thinking how much richer this story would be if I were reading it and giving the characters appropriate gender voices inside of my head.

If you listen to audio books, does this man/woman thing bother you? 

P.S.  That Jack Reacher character is the ultimate manly man.  Nothing to complain about there!


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