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Today's substitute for a post is an e-mail which I sent EVERYONE in my office earlier today, including the Grand Poobahs and my fellow PEONS:
Copy room code of conduct.
Thou shalt not pillage, pilfer or accidentally take stuff without promptly returning said stuff.
If you accidently or purposefully take the staple remover or the red handled scissors that are now in the copy room (and now MARKED copy room) or any other item which is specifically meant for everyday copy room use, and fail to return said item or items in question, an APB will be issued. If you then fail to return the item or items in question, I will come looking for said item or items. If I find said item or items in your possession, I will spare you the lecture, but I will go home and make a voodoo doll in your likeness. I’m just saying.
Some didn't take me as dead serious as I was.
A few of their responses:
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You don’t have to go home for voodoo dolls…I have two on my desk that you can borrow.
-T
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LMAO!!!!! You have obviously missed your true calling.
Which calling would that be? Madam Laveau’s protégé’
Police officer, prosecutor, voodoo lady…any of those would be suitable because they each have the power to make people submit to their will. Just don’t start labeling the pens, lest I be guilty of walking out with one in my hand.
The supplies that are meant as supplies are okay to take. That should include pens, so you are safe J Someone here once I should be a litigator. I think a bounty hunter might even suit me.
Good! I would hate to be on your bad side. That email was slightly intimidating! LOL. There is something about a voodoo doll that just sends chills down the spine. I can definitely see you being a litigator, a bounty hunter, and even a journalist. Your witty sarcasm is refreshing in what can sometimes be an “uptight and stuffy” atmosphere.
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I think voodoo is illegal in this state.
I am not afraid of the law. I am more worried about the fundamental religious ramifications of using the word voodoo in a bible belt workplace.
House Rules: Any and all passersby, stalkers and the like, can post comments under "lurker comments." They will be screened for hexes, spells, foils, curses, foul smells and cooties before posting. xxx pookie
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I think as long as you didn't mention "savagely ripping their heads off [the voodoo dolls]" you are safe and good to go...
ReplyDeleteSeems like that copy room is one continual source of aggrevation for ya...
@Iggy -- The copy room is my friend. My fellow co-workers seem to be the continual source of aggravation.
ReplyDeleteThings always seem to be going down in the copy room, whether it be in porno's or real life. I wish I had a copy room ;)
ReplyDelete@Jay -- Hah hah! I started to start that email off with a reference to them already knowing that the copy room was off limits to any "hanky panky," but I thought that might be going a little too far.
ReplyDeleteLOL. Well, I can honestly say I've never stolen anything from the copy room. I work on people's computers and sometimes I accidentally walk off with people's ink pens...but I even go to the trouble of taking those back because I know how much of a pain it is to have things you like disappear!
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